I decide what I will and what I won’t accept

#MeToo – I decide what I will and what I won’t accept. And that is how people will treat me.

Since the past couple of days, I have been waking up every morning to a new story that revolves around #MeToo and while there are different instances of how women have felt violated, there is one important thing that comes to my mind. And thats what I would like to talk today. Which is Boundaries. Boundaries are nothing but mental emotional and physical limits that we set for ourself that separates us from the other person. And these limits are extremely important because  they tell us what we are okay with and what we are not okay with. 

There are two things that can happen around boundaries. Either we have loose boundaries, usually such people find it difficult to say NO. They end up taking on too much. They are there always listening to people, empathetic, reaching out, being there and at the end of it, end up feeling exhausted. End up feeling taken for granted. End up feeling spent and tired simple because they have not been able to exercise the boundary when its needed.

There are the other group of people, who have what we call as, very rigid boundaries. And which means that there is a lot of difficult in trusting people, in being vulnerable, in opening up, in expressing emotions. What this does is, that while it keeps you safe, it locks people out and does not allow you to have meaningful connections with people around you.

So today I would like to ask you, what kind of boundaries do you have? Are you able to have the beautiful dance between connecting with people in an amazing, deep, joyful, meaningful way and yet not loose yourself in the whole process. 

So how is it that you can exercise healthy boundaries. Let’s talk about three ways of doing it. 

The number one way is to know exactly how you are feeling at any point in time. Knowing whether something is okay with you or something is not okay with you. And the way to know this is listening to your inner emotion and your inner guidance system.

The second step is being able to communicate this boundary in a very assertive yet respectful and compassionate way. Sometimes we either don’t assert the boundary or we say it in a very disrespectful way and that gets us a negative feedback. 

And the third step is to not feel guilty to say NO. Knowing that it is absolutely okay, and infact it is extremely healthy for you to draw your mental, your emotional and physical boundaries and for other people in your life to learn to respect it. 

So while #MeToo is a wonderful movement, lets make it a movement of exercising healthy, wholesome boundaries for each one of us, so that we have wonderful healthy relationships .

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