Gottman – Harsh Startup

Step 1 of 2

Read each statement and fill in the appropriate TRUE or FALSE bubble.

WHEN WE DISCUSS OUR RELATIONSHIP ISSUES:
1. My partner is often very critical of me.
2. I hate the way my partner raises an issue.
3. Arguments often seem to come out of nowhere.
4. Before I know it, we are in a fight.
5. When my partner complains, I feel picked on.
6. I seem to always get blamed for issues.
7. My partner is negative all out of proportion.
8. I feel I have to ward off personal attacks.
9. I often have to deny charges leveled against me.
10. My partner’s feelings are too easily hurt.
11. What goes wrong is often not my responsibility.
12. My partner criticizes my personality.
13. Issues get raised in an insulting manner.
14. My partner will at times complain in a smug or superior way.
15. I have just about had it with all this negativity between us.
16. I feel basically disrespected when my partner complains.
17. I just want to leave the scene when complaints arise.
18. Our calm is suddenly shattered.
19. I find my partner’s negativity unnerving and unsettling.
20. I think my partner can be totally irrational.