4 Types Of People You Need To Set Boundaries With

Setting boundaries is never easy, especially for those of us who are sensitive to conflicts. Many believe that setting a boundary is being self-centered. It is NOT. Setting a healthy boundary is an act of self-love. When you set a boundary, it is not about pushing people out of your life. It is about compassionately expressing what is okay or not okay for you. 

Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. When we set boundaries, we are less angry and resentful because we don’t feel trampled upon. Boundaries make our expectations clear, so others know what to expect from us and how we want to be treated. Boundaries are the foundation of happy, healthy relationships.

Here are 4 types of people with whom it’s especially important for you to set your boundaries.

#1. The Whiner/Compulsive Complainer 

We all go through ups and downs in life. And when we are struggling, it can be therapeutic to speak to someone and vent our emotions. ​There have definitely been times in my life when I have complained about things and people. 

However, there are some people, who are chronic complainers. Their focus is not on solving issues, rather just whining about them. They thrive on feeling like ‘victims’. They are usually unwilling to take the necessary action and tend to play ‘yes, but….’ games. These people can complain endlessly and leave you feeling drained of your energy. 

It is important to start setting boundaries with such people, and not to absorb their negative energy. It will make you miserable and you really don’t deserve that. So, set a boundary and keep the complaining at bay. 

#2. The Slackers 

These are the ones who have nothing of value to add to your life. These types of people are simply timewasters and just seek some entertainment and drama to ease out their mundane and boring life. They gossip, talk about useless stuff, and get into personal conversations, which may not matter to you. 

It’s not important to them if you are busy, or emotionally available. Whether it is convenient or not, they just barge into your space and take up time.

With this type of person, you need to get a lot more comfortable with saying ‘No’, especially when it wastes your precious time engaging in unimportant stuff; when you are trying to get important work done. 

Anywhere you feel that someone is wasting your time, you need to set a boundary that makes it clear that you won’t accept it.

#3. The Negativists 

These are the toxic people in your life. They constantly add negativity and fear into your life. In fact, They ooze negative energy and leave you feeling worse whenever you are around them. 

They don’t consider your needs or feelings and manipulate you to get what they want. You will find that they blame others and don’t take responsibility for their own actions. They have a lot of drama or problems but don’t want to change. Their moods and behavior are volatile or unpredictable and they expect you to deal with them. They expect you to help them, but they are never available to help you.

One of the great things about being an adult is that you have choices. You can choose to limit your interactions or completely distance yourself from such people. Trust me it’s worth it! 

#4. The Helpless 

There are people who feel weak and vulnerable. We all do at some point and we need someone to take care of us. However the ‘helpless’ are perpetual victims. The problem with this is that they expect you to step in and do their fighting for them. They need you to rescue them. In addition, they never care to take charge or to stand up for themselves. 

If you attempt to set a boundary, they try to make you feel guilty about it. “What do you mean you won’t be as available? You know this is the worst time of my life, I’ve never needed you more.” The fact is, a ‘No’ uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or, what is worse, to avoid trouble! 

Kind but firm limit-setting is healthy. People must take responsibility for their own lives. You’re not in the business of fixing anyone. 

Remember that a person with strong boundaries understands that it’s unreasonable to expect two people to accommodate each other 100% and fulfill every need the other has. A person with strong boundaries understands that they may hurt someone’s feelings sometimes, but ultimately they can’t control how other people feel. The only person they will ever have control over is themselves!! 

Want to know more?

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